Advice columnist extraordinaire gives you his one cent on inexpensive lovemaking and whether or not to gym it. (Please note this month’s column is intended for a mature audience.)
Sigmund,
I very much enjoy the making sex with ladies, but I do not very much enjoy the expensive buying of condom in convenient store. They are so expensive I wish sometimes to not to use them but am afraid of the STDs like syphilis and pregnancy. How is possible for me to continue enjoying of safe sex without spending all of money on protective rubber sheath for my “сарделька”?
Poor Old Orgasmic Russian
POOR,
I am very glad to hear how concerned you are about having safe sex, as it is very important to protect yourself and others from diseases and unwanted pregnancy if you are going to engage in sexual acts, which, clearly, you are. Of course, the cheapest form of safe sex is abstinence (it’s totally free!), but let’s be real: you’re going to have sex and you need condoms that are cheap (in cost, not quality).
Well, here’s a little knowledge: if you’re on a college campus, your student health center will typically give out free condoms, sometimes just sitting in a little fishbowl on the counter. Just reach in a grab some. Bam! Free sex! If this is not available to you, try your local planned parenthood. Seeing as how they probably won’t let you walk out of there with hundreds of condoms, you are probably going to need a longer-term plan to obtain condoms which will cost you a bit of money.
Your next stop can be your local Costco or Sam’s Club. Of course, you will most likely have to buy in bulk, but think of the savings! For Costco, you don’t even need a membership if you order online at Costco.com. And checking their website, I see they offer 40 condoms for $10, which is 25 cents a pop (literally). Not a bad deal considering it costs twice that just to make a call at a pay phone (meaning phone sex is more expensive than real sex).
For more savings, you can buy in bigger bulk at websites such as discountcondomking.com or condomusa.com, where if you buy 100 or more at a time you can get several different kinds for less than $0.20 each. Condomusa.com is currently running a 2010 Spring Sale and even offering some free samples to try out if you’re not sure what kinds to get, so check them out. Good luck on your quest for safe and inexpensive boot-knocking.
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Sig,
In a previous article some dude asked you about getting in shape on the cheap. Well, I’d like to work out with dumbbells, but there aren’t any used sporting goods stores near me. Do you think I should just join a gym? I know they’re expensive, but if I don’t have any equipment at home, what other options do I have?
Cheap Overweight Guy
COG,
There are plenty of good reasons to join a gym but usually “because it’s cheap” isn’t one of them. And gym memberships tend to become even less cheap if you pay for one and then never show up because it’s not as convenient as working out at home. Of course, only you can decide whether it’s worth it or not. However, if it will make the decision easier, there are many other ways of getting weights or exercise equipment in your home if used sporting goods stores are not an option.
Craigslist is great for finding used equipment because the ultimate truth is that most people who buy the equipment don’t stick with it and end up selling it. Whether it’s dumbbells, benches, Gazelles or a Bowflex, you’re likely to find some pretty decent deals on Craigslist (if you work on your negotiating skills, CL can be a goldmine). And another good thing about working out at home with used equipment is that if you end up not using the equipment you buy, you can always sell it some other out of shape sap who thinks it will change his life. Unfortunately, you can’t sell your gym membership if you end up not using that. Think about it.
Quibbling over a cheapsters-related matter? Want some tips on how to get the most bang for your buck? Then shoot Sigmund Freugal an e-mail at: Freugal[at]cheapsters[dot]org.
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